1/30: Waves (NPM)

This transition is hard.

I saw it coming but there

Is no way to completely prepare for the waves

That are heading in my direction.

No matter how crafty

My attempts are to secure

My position, it will not be enough to

Prepare me. Either way

I will be moved. Continue reading

7/30: Expensive – NaPoWriMo

Expensive

 

You’re so expensive

And emotionally taxing

 

I find myself stuck trying to solve the riddle that is you

I’m trying to rearrange

The pieces and either way

I always end up with other valuable pieces missing

 

I have holes

Where hope should be

 

I have holes where

Faith should be

 

And I unknowingly

Traded them in

For the insufficient substitute

That is you

 

I was foolish

To believe that you were a compliment

To my desires and

The fulfillment of my hope

 

I’m bankrupt because

I have been giving you

Time that does not belong to me

 

Now I’m in debt

And I’m praying for a way out

Because I’m finally fed up

I’ve vacated the position

Of being complacent

You are not something

I want to just deal with

 

Even if I have to consolidate

My emotions to fix my broke resolve

I will start from scratch

And rebuild my foundation

Because I need to move past this

Past you

Past corrupt tendencies

That leave me in positions of hopelessness

 

You are expensive

I can’t afford you

I can’t afford what you do to my heart

The state of my emotions

Is in disarray

And I no longer want

To be in this position

Where I’m unkempt

 

This is not love

This is not what love feels like

This is not what love looks like

 

This is what lust is

This is what lust does to feelings

This is what lust does to appearances

 

Love gives the advantage whereas

Lust takes advantage and

I have no more advantages

Left to give

Other than the one I reserved

For myself where

I finally decide to walk away

 

5/30: Goodbye – NaPoWriMo

“Goodbye” was first published in The Forgotten Lyrics in 2012. If you would like to read other poems in this collection, you can download the entire book for only $0.99 at Amazon.

Goodbye

I stepped up and

Found myself

Penning my own elegy

 

Disconcerting the old

The standard has become stale

 

I’ve become sick of being in this cage

That’s walled with mirrors

That cast reflections

Of dreams never lived

 

I’ve got layers to shed

And fears to unwed

 

I need to be free

Liberated of myself

To see past the rain

And at the rainbow that waits

 

I can no longer stay in this dream restricting cage

That siphons my freedom

 

I want out

I’ll break through

Every dream reflected

So I can awake and start living

 

This life that begs

For a chance to be

More than just a life

 

3/30: Love & Hate – NaPoWriMo

Thin lines that easily fade

Only become visible

Once again

When someone becomes a causality

Of either foe

 

So if the enemy

Of my enemy is my friend

Then I must become

Well acquainted with Time

As I wait for an end

To this tunnel vision

That has shortsighted my awareness

And stunted the growth of my epiphanies

 

You love me

You love to love me

You love to hate me

You hate to love me

 

(Unfinished)

2/30: Memory Lane – NaPoWriMo

As I mentioned in my previous post, many of my poems for NaPoWriMo will be written in the voice of my characters. Below is another one from Ethan.

 

Memory Lane

 

I’m here idle

With no fuel to propel me forward

 

How much longer

Must I stay in this lane

Where memories tease my senses

With images of the peace I no longer have

 

I’m stuck idolizing a moment of time

I can’t fix

I can’t seem to master time

To bribe it

To follow the rhythms of my dreams

I go left

While fate jerks me right

The whiplash has me

Suffering from the pains

Of adjusting to a state

I don’t wish to claim

 

I don’t want to be here

I’m not supposed to be here

Yet here is where I am

And I am here

Stuck in memory lane