This transition is hard.
I saw it coming but there
Is no way to completely prepare for the waves
That are heading in my direction.
No matter how crafty
My attempts are to secure
My position, it will not be enough to
Prepare me. Either way
I will be moved.
I will have to go through the motions
And deal with the losses and gains
That follow the end of an episodic tradition
I am being snatched away from my zone of comfort
And a part of me is excited
A part of me is looking forward to this unknown thrill
Where I will be thrown into unfamiliar territory.
Yet and still…a part of me aches
For what I will leave behind
Because I’ve grown roots here.
They’re not strong enough to keep me
Grounded though, not anymore
Not against these waves.
These waves…these changes…they have no mercy.
They’re the frenemy I love when they come on my preferred time
But when they come close enough to actually touch me,
It feels like an invasion almost.
It feels like a loss of control.
It feels like I’m just a passenger with this seatbelt called trust that barely works
Because all I can do is just hold on
And even that appears to be difficult at times.
Hear my clearly though because I can’t let my confession
Take away from the other side of my truth.
I can’t start a new journey
If I’m still stirring around in the old one and sometimes I know I can drag my feet.
Maybe that’s why I get a little push from here and there.
He knows I’m a little slow at getting through it all therefore
He gives me a nudge
I can admit that my comfort zone can be addictive
It can be so addictive that it infects me and therein effects the execution of my dreams
It’s the addiction I love and the same one I hate.
Deep down I know I can’t stay here.
Deep down I know I lack the ability to break away.
So I feel like I just cancelled myself out
However, thank God
He has never counted me out.
He tears me away by any means necessary
As He desires to get me to a better place.
And yes the waves hurt but only for a little while.
The discomfort that comes in tandem with shifting
Is nothing compared to the blessings that come with Grace and obedience